Often clients come to me saying things like: “I was up late last night doom scrolling,” “Why are all my friends coping and I’m not? I see what they do all the time and it’s nothing like my life,” or “I thought I was doing well until I saw…” These are just some of the many comparisons I hear. While social media can be a helpful part of modern life, it can also be incredibly challenging—but there are ways to make it easier on ourselves.
The most common outcomes I see from social media use in the therapy room are comparison, self-criticism, fear of missing out, and compulsive scrolling. These often lead to a deeper sense of self-doubt and a feeling of not being good enough. Importantly, the effects usually spill over into daily life—relationships, work, and even physical health. But it’s vital to remember, and something I say to all my clients: you are not alone in feeling this way. These platforms are intentionally designed to hook us and keep us coming back for more.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers a different solution. Rather than trying to eliminate social media, it helps us change how we relate to it—to loosen its grip and remove the hook that so often drags us down. I often explain four key steps to clients that can help us “unhook” and create space to decide how we want to use social media, not how it wants to use us:
- Noticing: Start to notice when thoughts like “I’m not as good as…” appear. Instead of instantly believing them, name them: “There’s my mind comparing again.”
- Acceptance: Practice sitting with difficult feelings like boredom or loneliness. Rather than doom scrolling to escape them, allow those feelings to be present.
- Values: Remember what truly matters to you. Let those values guide how you use social media—for example, by following accounts that inspire you instead of scrolling passively.
- Committed Action: Take small, practical steps to change habits. This might mean setting aside phone-free time, creating an intentional scroll window, or joining online groups that genuinely support you.
I’ve seen how small shifts in awareness can transform the way clients engage with their digital lives. My hope is that these ideas give you more choice and agency in how you show up—both online and in life.
